| Tough Referrals |
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A story of how one family made the tough decision to turn down their referral When we received our adoption referral (matched with a child) we had no idea
what was in store for us, let alone had any thought in our minds of saying no. We
had waited for this moment for going on 3 years and where elated at the thought
of starting our family. Everything was perfect, but was it? There are times in your life when you don’t want to face that little voice
inside your head. And for some reason or another you tell yourself something to
candy coat the situation. After all I wanted to a family and we had waited so
long. Our referral was of a little 2.8 pound girl who was born premature with low
levels of Hep C. She was beautiful. We knew she was very small but it didn’t
sink in until we consulted with an adoption doctor. He outlined the possibilities of her health
risks. We now had to decided if we where in the best situation to care for a child
with the possibilities of needing special care. It was awful, we where heart
broken. We then had the tough decision to make on where to go forward with the
referral or wait again. It turns out many potential parents have this heart to heart with themselves
and decided on the future of there family. Some decide that they are able to
care for a child with more needs and some decide that they aren’t. For us we
decided we need to be honest with ourselves, as well as her and not hope for
the best but keep our eyes open to the health problem possibilities. We said to ourselves, “she looks so healthy and she will be fine”. But we
had to be fair to her. For us the only
way to be fair was to not go into this with the hope that nothing would be
wrong. She needed a family that would be open to her health risks and have the
resources to help her through them. With the support of our doctor, family and our agency we decided to have her
placed with another family. Adoption is different because we do have choices,
this wasn’t an easy choice. Since then I have found other families that have
had to make a similar decision each one is happy with there personal choice whether
it was to bring the child home or choose to pass on the referral. I’m happy to
know today that little girl has a family and I know in my heart it was the
right choice.  Link to this article | Views: 3854
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